Reminds me of a saying I really like: “A man never steps into the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” Or something like that. A toast to the Shanghais and Barranquillas of the world 🍻
There’s something quietly devastating and beautiful here. The idea that we don’t mourn cities or moments, but the versions of ourselves that once walked their streets—it hits differently when read from Lisbon at dawn. This piece feels like an exhale: honest, unguarded, and full of grace for the fact that we’re all still learning how to return.
I think about this a lot. I often brace myself for returning to places with special memories, because I already know it won't feel the same. Occasionally, they are better!
There is a certain discomfort I feel every time I go back to a place- all this while you hold on to a memory and when you come back, you suddenly feel the memory ripping itself off. What do you now hold on to? The fact that as humans, we always want to belong is a wonderful yet troubling feeling. And somehow the more you travel, the more you realize that you belong nowhere, you belong everywhere. Amazingly put into words Scott. Do also read a similar piece I've written https://passportnpeas.substack.com/p/where-is-home
Even if you go to the same location, it can never been the same. Sometimes I wish I could experience travel like I did my very first trip - before internet & smartphones set expectations and prior to having something to compare a place or experience to.
My first stop as a nomad was Medellin, Colombia and I have not been back for 4.5 years but every week, I miss it, this post makes me think twice about going back, haha!
A really lovely, thoughtful, well written piece. Nice work and thankyou for putting it out there. This is the kind of travel writing I love, putting context and contemplation into the yawning gaps that the modern travel industry tries to dominate our experience with. Pleased there are others out there deepening and widening the experience of moving through life, literally and figuratively. Blah, blah...could go on!😁 thx mate for great piece anyway!
I connect with this so much. I remember going back to the East Village in NYC a few years after relocating and looking for all my my old haunts-- the coffee shop, the wine bar, and even my favorite laundromat. They were all boarded up or replaced by new businesses. I was disappointed but I still felt a flood of nostalgia just being on the street corners. Just feeling into who I was and how much time had passed since I had been there. It was like visiting old versions of myself.
This is so beautiful. Not just the exceptional writing, but the knowledge that everyone who stumbles upon this piece will resonate with it in some way. We all have that one place, person, or moment that comes to us when we read this. The way you’ve captured this feeling is SO special, thank you so much for sharing
Thank you so much for saying that. I agree that everyone has that one place, person, or moment, and I am hopeful that others find their way to this too. Thanks for being here!
Scott — we were clearly on the same wavelength this week. Your piece captures that haunting truth about travel — that every return is a first time, and the ache of change is what makes it all so alive. I just wrote about this too, in “Why We Keep Returning to Places That Change Us” — how going back is really about revisiting the versions of ourselves we left behind.
A friend of mine said 'you can't reheat old coffee' - I suppose there a fair few good sayings like this.
Another friend of mine has been to San Francisco 5 or 6 times but has never been on a cable car. Why? He says he wants a reason to go back.
I kind of like that attitude and have done the same, but then again, there's a risk involved, as you've so eloquently laid out.
I think that wow factor gets tempered with age and 'wisdom' (or lack thereof, in my case). I visited Trieste for the first time in March 2024 and loved it and said immediately that I wanted to return, and I still do. Will it be as magical? I'd like to think so, because it's a fairly chill, melancholic place with not so much to do. It's not like going to Madrid or Rome as a young adult and falling in love with it and then returning two decades later and feeling nothing.
I think your friend's logic of leaving something 'new' to return to is an interesting one. I am not sure many people purposely do that, but it has made me think.
I also agree with you that I think the wow factor does get tempered with age. There is something in our nature that wants to associate something different quickly to make it comfortable and familiar. By default, being older, we have more experience to pull from.
I do hope the return to Trieste is as good, if not better, for you. I have definitely had better returns. The first time I ever went to Beijing, I could not stand it, but it has really grown on me, for example. But I do think it will be different even if only slightly. The weather also plays a huge role in this perception, too, which I only fleetingly touched on.
So true, Scott. And beautifully put. I'd love to go back to Cambodia, but I know it would be totally different. Not just because of 20 years of development for the country, but because my children were babies and toddlers there.
This brings me back to my Edinburgh days - it's been two years now since I lived there, and it is indeed a sad acceptance that I'll never be back to experience the city as I once did. It won't stop me from one day revising my favourite pub or laying beneath the sun in my old local park, but those memories are just that. You captured the feeling very well :)
Reminds me of a saying I really like: “A man never steps into the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” Or something like that. A toast to the Shanghais and Barranquillas of the world 🍻
That is a good way to put it. And yessir!
There’s something quietly devastating and beautiful here. The idea that we don’t mourn cities or moments, but the versions of ourselves that once walked their streets—it hits differently when read from Lisbon at dawn. This piece feels like an exhale: honest, unguarded, and full of grace for the fact that we’re all still learning how to return.
This means a lot. It was indeed an exhale, and I am glad that you found it. Thank you, Dave.
I think about this a lot. I often brace myself for returning to places with special memories, because I already know it won't feel the same. Occasionally, they are better!
Me too.
There is a certain discomfort I feel every time I go back to a place- all this while you hold on to a memory and when you come back, you suddenly feel the memory ripping itself off. What do you now hold on to? The fact that as humans, we always want to belong is a wonderful yet troubling feeling. And somehow the more you travel, the more you realize that you belong nowhere, you belong everywhere. Amazingly put into words Scott. Do also read a similar piece I've written https://passportnpeas.substack.com/p/where-is-home
Hope you resonate!
Even if you go to the same location, it can never been the same. Sometimes I wish I could experience travel like I did my very first trip - before internet & smartphones set expectations and prior to having something to compare a place or experience to.
totally agree Glenda. It was definitely also a completely different experience pre-internet and smartphones.
My first stop as a nomad was Medellin, Colombia and I have not been back for 4.5 years but every week, I miss it, this post makes me think twice about going back, haha!
I’d say you should still go but it will definitely be different!
I definitely will! :)
A really lovely, thoughtful, well written piece. Nice work and thankyou for putting it out there. This is the kind of travel writing I love, putting context and contemplation into the yawning gaps that the modern travel industry tries to dominate our experience with. Pleased there are others out there deepening and widening the experience of moving through life, literally and figuratively. Blah, blah...could go on!😁 thx mate for great piece anyway!
Thanks for the kind words and glad you found it and enjoyed it!
I connect with this so much. I remember going back to the East Village in NYC a few years after relocating and looking for all my my old haunts-- the coffee shop, the wine bar, and even my favorite laundromat. They were all boarded up or replaced by new businesses. I was disappointed but I still felt a flood of nostalgia just being on the street corners. Just feeling into who I was and how much time had passed since I had been there. It was like visiting old versions of myself.
Thanks Emily, so glad you connected with it. It’s always a shame when the places we loved are boarded up too 😞
This is so beautiful. Not just the exceptional writing, but the knowledge that everyone who stumbles upon this piece will resonate with it in some way. We all have that one place, person, or moment that comes to us when we read this. The way you’ve captured this feeling is SO special, thank you so much for sharing
Thank you so much for saying that. I agree that everyone has that one place, person, or moment, and I am hopeful that others find their way to this too. Thanks for being here!
To quote the old sage Bob Dylan " you can always come back, but you can't come back all the way".
Old sage indeed!
Scott — we were clearly on the same wavelength this week. Your piece captures that haunting truth about travel — that every return is a first time, and the ache of change is what makes it all so alive. I just wrote about this too, in “Why We Keep Returning to Places That Change Us” — how going back is really about revisiting the versions of ourselves we left behind.
Here’s the link if you’d like to read it: https://thebenthalls.substack.com/p/why-we-keep-returning-to-places-that?r=5ci1ff
Beautiful work — this one lingered. -Kelly
Thank you and thank you for sharing this piece too. To many happy returns in every form.
So true … Going back to the places where you were happy, only to realize you’re different now.
For sure, one of those universal feelings we share.
Love this.
Thank you!
A friend of mine said 'you can't reheat old coffee' - I suppose there a fair few good sayings like this.
Another friend of mine has been to San Francisco 5 or 6 times but has never been on a cable car. Why? He says he wants a reason to go back.
I kind of like that attitude and have done the same, but then again, there's a risk involved, as you've so eloquently laid out.
I think that wow factor gets tempered with age and 'wisdom' (or lack thereof, in my case). I visited Trieste for the first time in March 2024 and loved it and said immediately that I wanted to return, and I still do. Will it be as magical? I'd like to think so, because it's a fairly chill, melancholic place with not so much to do. It's not like going to Madrid or Rome as a young adult and falling in love with it and then returning two decades later and feeling nothing.
I think your friend's logic of leaving something 'new' to return to is an interesting one. I am not sure many people purposely do that, but it has made me think.
I also agree with you that I think the wow factor does get tempered with age. There is something in our nature that wants to associate something different quickly to make it comfortable and familiar. By default, being older, we have more experience to pull from.
I do hope the return to Trieste is as good, if not better, for you. I have definitely had better returns. The first time I ever went to Beijing, I could not stand it, but it has really grown on me, for example. But I do think it will be different even if only slightly. The weather also plays a huge role in this perception, too, which I only fleetingly touched on.
So true, Scott. And beautifully put. I'd love to go back to Cambodia, but I know it would be totally different. Not just because of 20 years of development for the country, but because my children were babies and toddlers there.
What a powerful version of you to carry in those memories.
It was a special experience in so many ways, Scott. Thanks for sharing some of yours.
This brings me back to my Edinburgh days - it's been two years now since I lived there, and it is indeed a sad acceptance that I'll never be back to experience the city as I once did. It won't stop me from one day revising my favourite pub or laying beneath the sun in my old local park, but those memories are just that. You captured the feeling very well :)
Thank you. True. You’ll never get the same Edinburgh back, but you’ll get a new one each time and hopefully the one that matches where you are now at.